AN AFTERNOON ABOARD THE NORTHERN BELLE

 

There is nothing like essential research when it's a proper treat and a pleasure to do. My next Christmas book is set on a train and I needed to get a feel for some luxury rail travel. I did try and ask a couple of high end train companies if I could travel to them and just walk through from one end to the other, see the galley and the bedrooms but they were, how shall we put it politely... 'dismissive'. Didn't give an inch. I'm sure they get a few people wanting to just wander through but I had a genuine reason and I do have a bit of background in this novel-writing lark. Anyway - what does a writer have an imagination for? I could get what I need from YouTube, but it really would have helped my idea of perspective if I could have just been on such a train. Bugger.  

Enter stage left... the Northern Belle. It's a train full of restaurant cars, Pullman carriages no less, the company based in Wakefield - just up the road. That would work - I would have to imagine the sleeping part, but that's doable. I wasn't going to risk getting someone writing me off as a freeloading oik again, so I said to the OH - 'Fancy lunch on a posh train in October? I'm paying. It just travels around for six hours and we eat on it, chill and look out of the window. We got on in Wakey and get off in Wakey.' 'Sounds all right,' he replied. So I booked it. It wasn't cheap. But sometimes (often) you get what you pay for and I have to say, it was worth every blooming penny. Anyway, read on and you'll see what I mean. 

I got in touch with the sales manager who could not have been more helpful and arranged for me to look around the galley when I was onboard. 'After the mains though... it's a bit fraught before then. And the dish washers will have about 1600 pieces to clean'. No problem. I can wait until it's convenient. The fact they were willing to accommodate me at all was wonderful and I didn't want to be a pest and get in their way.

I didn't wear the faux fur coat as planned (I've been trying to slim into it for 10 years, finally managed it - and then had to hang it back up!) I should have because guests meeting in Wakefield Kirkgate were done up to the eyeballs, ready for a touch of the high life and an afternoon being transported into a world of yesteryear. I was excited about this way before the moment when I saw the train mentioned on the station info board. 

It looked beautiful as it was pulling into the station, all the carriages named after great castles and stately homes. Ours was Alnwick. It's not a sleeper, just dining, 13 coaches (I think) restaurant and staff quarter cars in varying light, medium and dark wood, the marquetry exquisite, the ceilings hand-painted. Gorgeous upholstery, antimacassars as far as the eye can see and embroidered soft, fat cushions. This is a VERY comfortable train. 

 

AND WE'RE ON... and there's a bucket with champagne waiting for us as a gift from the company and A PEN. Because I had to order a souvenir pen. I'd have been an idiot not to. Other souvenirs also available but stationery every time for me. 

I feel as if I've stepped back in time and Miss Marple is going to be get on in a minute. 

We paid extra for a table just for two because, as the OH put it: we didn't want to be spending all that money and end up with a pair of gobby strangers who spoil it. And hog the window. Totally worth the extra. Although we did end up sitting across from a wonderful couple who we chatted with all the journey and we all said after that if we'd known how our luck would have landed, we'd have all been delighted to share a table. They were celebrating a 40th - I was celebrating a 60th. What an amazing way to mark it, is all I'll say. Something unusual, singular and definitely memorable. 

Complimentary glass of champagne arrived (with a very generous hand - none of that 'glass dampening' you get at some places) as soon as we were on, with canapés. And hats off to the team who have to deal with all the food fussies (ie me: I'd rather avoid fish, but let me at the caviar. Chicken main instead of duck please. Mackerel??? ooh - I'd rather not. The OH is a vegetarian). All dealt with smoothly and with perfect friendliness. Yes we were very looked after by our lady stewards. Even vegetarian caviar for the OH.  

MY PEN!!!

Caviar in one hand, champers in the other is how I'd like every day to go.  Absolutely delicious. And here was the train route we were taking today - picking up at Doncaster after Wakefield (first pick up Leeds) then down to Lincoln, Market Rasen, to Cleethorpes, where the train reversed and back home.  Everything was beautifully spaced out as well. Wasn't sure if we'd have 3 hours of nothing after the meal, but the whole dining experience took 6 perfect hours, allowing us to (try and) digest all the delicious food inbetween courses. And the cocktails. Oh my. We squeezed in an espresso martini after the canapés... just because we could (you have a wine allowance in with the lunch which you can spend on cocktails or other drinks if you prefer). 

Not a lover of mackerel as I said - I had an alternative (you pick your preferences before you come on) a ham hock terrine with a lovely bit of pork scratching. Yum.  Cutlery, crockery, linen, cushions, glasses... everything first class. And don't even get me started on the quality of the butter!

Wasn't quite sure how I was going to manage 7 courses... luckily I think champagne pushes everything down in your stomach and gives you some room (?!). Pumpkin soup, pumpkin oil and pumpkin seeds with artisan bread (sour dough with sun-dried tomato for the OH, seeded for me!) My goodness... it was absolutely delicious. I almost took the name off the bottom of the bowl with my spoon. 

There was a respectable interlude where I went for a nosey around the train and saw all the carriages photographed above. The train is half a mile long from one end to the other. I figured I burned off the starters walking all that. In my dreams. 

The atmosphere is terrific too because everyone on this train is out for a good time, a celebration, a day out with friends. It's a treat and they want to wring out the juice from the day they've saved up and paid for.

The mains arrived. Halloumi for the OH, chicken for me.  Totally and utterly marvellous.

And wonderful and witty entertainment in the form of these guys. Again, I did wonder when I read there would be onboard entertainment if this would be a bit 'cringe' but it was anything but - it was as perfect as everything else in the day was. They were great, pausing at each table, treating us to all to some top quality repartee and fitting classics - and birthday tunes for our fellow diner across the way. Funny and sweet. 

...and talking of sweet... it was time for this sloe gin fantastic creation! Not quite sure where I'm managing to put all this, but it was no hardship to try. Magic I reckon... making all this food disappear.

And more magic... because the table magician arrived. Amazing. Could have watched him all day. John the Magician. John who could do real magic because we have no idea where the big solid golf ball came from. He was BRILLIANT. And we were so close to his  hands... there was no possibility of this being a trick - he had to be the genuine wizard article.

And lo and behold up popped my friend from Yorkshire Life on a press trip (nice for some!). One of Kathryn's more enjoyable assignments. She stayed for a natter and then whizzed off when there was mention of the cheese being on its way. 

Anyway - this was work for me too (yeah yeah) and I needed to see the galley - and the chef. I needed to thank him for making me put on three stone in one day. I couldn't believe how compact everything was in the kitchen, how organised - and how clean and tidy because all the bulk of everything had been done, slickly as a military operation. So here's Matthew Green and me, head chef and BARNSLEY LAD.  Not one for the limelight but I had to drag him into it for publicity purposes - plus he deserves it because everything was spot on, magnificent, not only tasty but arranged like artwork on the plates.

I went to check out the loo to find the soft white towels, the marquetry... a bit different from the East Midlands trains experience! Can't wait for that next week when I'm jogging down to the London - I think I'm spoilt now. 

Then we get to the cheese... Oh my, the King Charles III cheddar with truffle was to DIE FOR. Oatcakes, chutney, more of that lovely butter, fruitcake, biscuits... and PORT (white or red). Everything generously served.

Another little flurry by the musicians working their way back down the train and it was time to relax, enjoy the dying daylight, with the last of the champers and a gorgeous coffee and chocolates (salted caramel and Marc de Champagne) ... delicious! That's me full to capacity now, unless the company wanted a messy 'Mr Creosote' moment. 

A lingering last look at the next carriage as we were stood to get off. The train pulled in at Wakefield about 6 1/2 hours after it set off and we didn't want to leave. Like I said at the beginning, sometimes you get what you pay for and this was perfection. Worth every. Single. Penny. 

I did ask one of the ladies on board if they had a lot of repeat customers but I don't know why I did because it was perfectly obvious there would be. I will definitely be a repeat customer. I do need to ride this train again because I'm sure there were details I missed which I will NEED for my book research. No question about that. 

There are a variety of trips you can do on the Northern Belle leaving at stations all over the country. Afternoon tea, shopping, Christmas lunch... and they do vouchers so you can contribute to someone's trip. All I can say is - what a present that would be. If you have a special occasion coming up, this train experience is a delight. A real touch of opulence, you're totally spoilt, you're wonderfully looked after. A beyond first class proper, superlative, amazing indulgence. Treat yourself - you can thank me later. 

Hello Cruising, My Old Friend - it's Been Too Long!

It is no secret that I love cruising, but owing to family caring issues I haven't managed to get on a ship for over 5 years and we badly needed a holiday. This was my 60th birthday present to myself: my favourite ship and 19 days of Med, including Valletta, where I haven't been for many years. Last time I went there I had a waist.

We aren't keen on flying so getting the bus down to Southampton is perfect (the price of the coach was in with the price of the cruise so it was a no-brainer). As soon as the cases are in the belly of the bus, we don't see them again until they are outside our cabins... and we can take a lot more luggage with us than we would have if we'd flown. Also if the bus breaks down, the ship will wait for you. That won't happen if you get snagged up in traffic in a car and those roads to Soton are always chocka.

The first sight of the ship is a lovely one - better than spotting Blackpool Tower on the club trip when you were a kid. My crib for the next 19 days. Look at that sky! Dreadful. The weather couldn't be worse abroad than this could it? I packed a cagoule just in case...

Glorious to be back onboard. It was like a home from home.  Our room - sea view, in the middle, low down by reception so it's nice and stable. Lovely big bed, LOADS of storage and a shower that didn't half pack a punch. Gorgeous cabin steward (and we gave him a break and only had him a few days because the OH is military-standard tidy). Have to say on this cruise, the staff - always friendly on ships - were above and beyond, just lovely all of them. I do miss being called 'Ma'am' now I'm home...  

Captain from York - so in safe hands then! Very dapper and could deffo see him as Nigel Ocean-Sea. 

Just saying... there was no way my first drink on board wasn't going to be the ICE WINE!

Slept like babies. 

Day at seas spent in the company of ex-chief detective inspector Terry Brown. Now it might seem like a weird thing to go to lectures on holiday but trust me, we've seen some fantastic entertaining speakers on board (there was a bloke later on who did a talk that made you think twice about how fascinating wasps were). This guy - was THE best and was instrumental in overhauling interview techniques in police stations - the theatre was bursting at the seams every time. 

The infamous Bay of Biscay... like a mill pond for us. Weather not great, but it's holiday weather so I can put up with a bit of sky rot while we sail south. Plenty to do - or not to do. It's the only time I can do nothing and not feel bored.  Had some great books to keep me company though (Yellowface, R.F. Huang, None of this is True - Lisa Jewell, Deadly Animals, Marie Tierney). But plenty of dolphins to see skipping in the waves (I was too busy watching to take more than a snap so this is all you're getting). 

Got tarted up for the first formal night (not too many on a cruise, just enough to enjoy) and got the diamond necklace out of the safe. 

Lovely restful day at sea again and the next day we were in La Coruna. It wasn't cold but it wasn't sun-bathing weather either, but it was SPANISH and so we were well into the holiday groove and we found a lovely little coffee shop where two fellow passengers sat down and ordered coffees and a brandy. It made me think of mum and dad who always did that in Spain, brought a nice little happy memory back. We kept bumping into this couple on the ship and saying hello. 

Came back to find two lovely bouquets in my room from P & O because I'm special - ha!

Had a gorgeous steak for tea in the Glass House. The crew in there are fab - and what a gem they have in Dennis who roped us into forking out £15 for a wine tasting morning towards the end of the cruise. More on that later

Warming up in Vigo - do you like my new hat? 

We aren't gamblers (mugs game)... but onboard we have an odd little session on the roulette - love it. And there were a couple of fun tournaments on throughout the holiday - and here's me and the other half on the leader board - ha! We had the best fun at the table - and the family birthdays were VERY lucky. 

OH YES, Miss Malinda at the top of the leader board - go me!

Sindhu for tea - the onboard Indian. They don't muck about with their portions and no, I couldn't even make a hole in this lot. But you can't miss the photo ops.

Incidentally - on the last formal night I had a korma here and it was the best one I have ever had in my life! I starved all day for it and I still couldn't finish even half!!

La Ceuta - never been there before but it was LOVELY and the weather is hotting up... The arms have come out, bugger the bingo wings.

Valletta the next day - arms, legs, everything's out now! Malta was my go-to place when I was younger. I had plans after uni to live here and teaching English... and what happened? I chickened out and became a bloody trainee accountant. The rest, as they say, is history. 

Glass House for tea... their 'little plates' which are just ideal when you don't fancy the full mashings of courses in the restaurant. Even the little plates were big enough.

And THIS is one of my two favourite people on the ship (although there were so many we grew fond of).  More about Dennis later. 

Messina isn't my favourite port, not unless you're going on a trip and we were heading back to the ship after a leg stretch instead of hanging around but we decided to just stay until 12 to see the 'astronomical clock' that everyone was banging on about. If you'd told me I would be standing there with tears streaming down my face at a golden lion roaring and a golden cockerel cocking and figures moving and Ave Maria playing I would have laughed you out of town - but it was beautiful. And I was wrecked. Everyone was watching it as if we were witnessing a spaceship landing.

Then the second Italian port - Salerno and our only organised trip - Amalfi. I didn't want to come home. The OH didn't ask the price of the famous lemon sorbet, (12 euros each!) but they were worth every penny... and we felt slightly better to find out some people had been charged 15 euros for smaller scooped out lemons and no seat. Heaven on earth. And boiling. Boiling and beautiful. Pics don't do it justice. How lovely to be hanging out of your window in the morning and saying 'Ooh look where I live.' If you have seen the Equaliser 3, you'll know what I mean about how blissful this stretch of Italy is. Also watch Equaliser 3 for a million other reasons.

Next Civitavecchia - though we've been to Rome a lot so decided to explore the port and have lasagne, pizza, white wine and a 'gelato' in the sun because they always taste better in Italy. Best coconut ice-cream the OH has ever had. He's not shut up about it ever since!

Goodbye Italy - hello Corsica! A Corsican food market and an antique fair, bliss walking around - and MY first ice-cream of the holiday and bloody gorgeous it was as well!

Napoleon was born in this very house!

So to Dennis and the wine-tasting morning he'd roped us into. We thought we'd get a little taster glass... but nope, full on five glasses and cheese and crackers - we were totally ballocksed. It was the best Sunday I've had in ages. Though I must confess, I had a little gulpy moment when we both realised it was Father's Day and we raised a glass. It's the first holiday when I've not got into port and rang my parents to tell them how we're getting on which was odd. And the OH lost his dad just before I lost mum so it's been a sad few years and we needed to smile a bit. 

Lovely dining companions - you always meet some great people on ships! 

And then onto Alicante - which was magnifico: blue seas, blue skies, syrup-yellow sun... hot hot hot... and just the place for having a shop, a walk and then a jug of Spain's best - sangria. 

And then a lovely double Grand Marnier in the gentleman's bar (yes they let us in) and here is Rony who is very good at selfies. And talking.

The last port was busy Lisbon... and you just have to have the Pastel de Nata there. Oh my god, they put the ones you get over here in their place! And they're warm. I don't even like custard. Dear lord above, I wolfed it. And another (be rude not to - disrespectful to Portuguese pastry chefs not to show public enjoyment).

And then two lovely sea days in which the weather got slowly cloudier and cooler but the seas stayed calm and people began to disembark and security had to drag me off the ship.

I am not sure having done 19 days that 14 will ever be enough again - it was a perfect length. Full of joy and more importantly REST because if we felt like a nap, we'd take one without thinking 'I shouldn't be doing this, I should be cleaning/working/shopping...' So nice to let yourself off the hook. All we had to think about was ourselves and what pair of shorts we were putting on that morning. One trip to the laundry only to wash some smalls - my it can be a passionate place there. Two old blokes arguing over a basket - ha! I got in like the SAS, did what I had to and left pronto.

Perfect holiday, as always. It was just wonderful to be back on a ship, they haven't lost their magic for me. Each to his own, of course, but we like the smaller ships, adult only - I've done my stint mixing with the yoof. I feel as if I'm dropped ten years. A bit of fresh air and sunshine and some laps around the deck to keep the old knee from stiffening and I'm restored.

Oh and if you're reading this and thinking 'Cruises aren't for me. I'd be squashed/confined, I don't like crowds, I couldn't do with that sort of holiday'... I was once that person. And so was my OH, who said he'd 'hate it on a ship' when we met. So I took him on a short taster one. Now he's on the bus home looking up where we can go next.